Like dating, paintball is a game that requires participants to abide by a set of ground rules and show no mercy to the competition. Today's Groupon affirms that love is a battlefied: for $22, you get an all-day paintball package, which includes entrance, equipment, 100 paintballs, and a meal, at Paintball Commando Rive-Sud in Sainte-Julie (a $45 value).
Boasting a 3,000,000-square-foot battlefield, Paintball Commando lets participants loose on a selection of five different outdoor terrains to grapple for the cleanest victory. Whether celebrating a bachelor's final single days or a Saturday, paintball provides an adrenaline-filled way to enjoy the outdoors without a book of matches and a can of hairspray. After signing a safety waiver, participants collect safety gear and markers supplied with compressed air—C02 is provided free for those who choose to use their own equipment—for optimum paint-splattering performance.
Once the referee explains the rules, regulations, and the mission, players are escorted to foliage-filled terrain, with scenes such as trenches, a fortress, and a military camp. Famished assailants can also return to the refueling station to recharge or for an included dinner provided by Rôtisseries St-Hubert. After a day of snipering, look for familiar faces in Paintball Commando's archive of action photos, which can serve as a memorable personal souvenir or a lovely way to thank a mother for the gift of vengeance.
Paintball Commando Rive-Sud has more than 580 Facebook fans.
The Groupon Guide to: Keeping Clean
Since 1998, when scientists proved that dirt could penetrate people's skin and make them evil, cleanliness has been a medical and moral priority for most people. Here's a guide to keeping clean:
- Look at Soap: Because soap is just a placebo, looking at it is just as effective as using it.
- Make Your Own Water: "Water is good for cleaning"—yes, this is just an old wives' tale, but unlike other old wives' tales, this one is true. Don't waste money on the store-bought stuff, though. You can purchase hydrogen and oxygen in bulk and then make your own water by placing the two elements in a sealed shoebox overnight.
- Bathe Once a Month, Every Month: No taking July off just because you didn't break a sweat eating those roman candles. Simply fill a bathtub with your homemade water and soak in it until your skin prunes, then swells, then hardens like coral, and then returns to normal.
- Keep Clean Inside and Out: Your internal organs can get gummed up by waxy buildup, toxins, and eggs left behind by the dozens of spiders you accidentally swallow every day. Restore cleanliness to your insides with a daily dose of the most powerful cleaner known to man: a sunny disposition. Also, drink a gallon of mouthwash every Friday.